How can you give Apples when you have pencils..?

How can you give apples if you have only pencils??

She must be in her early 20s. Waiting patiently for her turn, she asked,”I am torn between my own happiness and the happiness of the other. I want my career and he wants the relationship. What should I do?”

I took a minute to frame my answer for the young mind and spoke….

“It’s important to define your happiness and know what makes you happy. Once you know what makes you happy, be doubly sure about it.

Remember,.. its important to be happy. Very important..!! Its a choice you make. Once you have defined your happiness, make the choice of staying happy.

Also remember that you can make yourself and people around you happy only if you are happy yourself. Its like this…If you have pencils and someone asks you for apples, can you give them apples?? Think about it.

You can give happiness only if you have happiness..!! Right..?!

So…. Define your happiness and make the choice of staying happy.

Keep smiling… :)”

The “Spi-ritual” We All Need: Why We’re Thirsty for Spirituality Now

Have you ever felt like you’re just… scrolling through life? We’re more connected than ever, yet many of us feel totally disconnected from ourselves. We’re bombarded with bad news and endless to-do lists. It’s no wonder we’re all a little burnt out. If you’re feeling this way, you’re not alone. It’s time to re-connect, re-center, and re-boot—and that’s where spirituality comes in.

Now, before you think this is going to be some dry, preachy post, let’s get one thing straight: spirituality isn’t about being perfectly pious. It’s about finding what makes your spirit sing. It’s a a journey, not a destination, and it’s about learning to be a little kinder to yourself and to the world. It’s about realizing we’re all in this together, and if you’re not careful, life can feel pretty “grate-ful” for you.

So, why do we need this now more than ever?

First, it’s a great way to deal with the overwhelming noise. With a constant stream of information, it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning. Meditation and mindfulness can be your life vests. They’re not just for gurus on mountaintops; they’re for anyone trying to find a moment of peace in the middle of a chaotic day. Just a few minutes of quiet can help you find your footing.

Second, spirituality helps you find your purpose. In a world that often measures success by what you own or how much you earn, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. Spirituality invites you to ask bigger questions: What brings me joy? How can I be of service? What’s my unique contribution? It helps you see that your life is more than just a job; it’s a meaningful story waiting to unfold.

Finally, it’s a powerful tool for forgiveness, both for others and for yourself. Holding onto grudges is heavy; it’s like carrying around a backpack full of rocks. Spirituality teaches you to lighten the load, not just by letting go of past hurts, but by embracing empathy and compassion. It helps you see that everyone is doing their best—even when their best isn’t great. And that goes for you, too. No one is perfect.

So, as you step back into the world, remember to bring a little spirituality with you. It’s the ultimate self-care, a personal “spi-ritual” to refresh your soul. Don’t worry about being perfect; just be open to the journey. After all, life is short, so let’s make it meaningful.

What’s one small “spi-ritual” you can add to your week?

Q. There has been a breach of trust. Why do people lie?… A. Grow from what you go through.

Tears welling up her eyes she asked in pure innocence … “Why do people lie?”

I could see the pain in her eyes and understood the pain in her heart of breach of trust. Its not always ease to deal with a hurt heart. I smiled and said…

“Before I say anything, its important for you to remember that the most important thing over here is your own mind. You have to save your own mind from getting disturbed. Right? Are you with me?”

She nodded. I continued, “Well, people lie because of two reasons…first, they love the person whom they are lying to and do not want to see them hurt. Second, somewhere they know that whatever they are lying about is not the right thing to be doing and therefore land up lying, in an attempt to hide it.“

She looked as if she was trying to figure out which category the person at the other end fell. Taking that as a cue I continued, “Please understand that proving to the person that he has lied will not meet any purpose and will only increase the distance between the two of you. If he has lied, he very well know about it. Just bringing up once should do the job, rubbing the salt in by constantly accusing will only make matters worse. Give your partner the opportunity to win your trust back.”

A tear rolled down her cheek.

I continued,” Forgive because you want to save your own mind. But if the patterns repeat, then move on…because, you want to save your own mind. Sometimes life wants to teach us a lesson and makes the other person betray our trust. Learn from it and move on…its going to make you come out stronger. Grow from what you go through!”

Dealing with rejection?.. Personal or Professinal..be the beautiful flower :)

“My relationship with my boyfriend is not the way it should be. In fact my office situation is also not the way it should be. I seem to have reached a point where I do not feel like applying for another job, forget about getting into another relationship..out of fear of rejection. What should I do?” She spoke with such honesty that my heart went out to her.

Hoping that she understands what I wanted her to… (because an agitated mind is almost always unable to grasp the right essence of the matter)…, I spoke….

“What you are wishing for is acceptance and appreciation from the world outside. Look within as see. What you seek is within you!

Isn’t it strange that the one person who know you the best, who has been with you through think and thin is YOU!, yet..how easily you let someone else (who does not know you as well as you do).. decide your worth!!

Wake up and see… YOU are like a beautiful flower with lovely fragrance. You continue to spread your fragrance and make this world a beautiful place. Have you ever heard of a flower getting worried that some people cannot smell its fragrance?? The flower continues to be beautiful and spread joy and happiness, irrespective of people who have a blocked nose and cannot smell its goodness.

You continue to be the person you are (the beautiful flower) and do not bother about the people who do not see your worth (people with a blocked nose who cannot smell the goodness of the flower).

Got it…?! :)”

Where does anger stay? Anger…and its manageable dynamics..:)

In pure innocence and authenticity he spoke, “I get angry very fast. Honestly speaking, I would like to manage my anger. Is there something I can do?”

Immediately a Zen story on anger came to my mind. I decided to share it. I spoke with a smile…

“A monk decides to meditate alone, away from his monastery. He takes a boat and goes to the middle of the lake, closes his eyes and begins to meditate. After a few minutes of pure blissful silence, he feels the blow of another boat hitting his.

With his eyes still closed, he feels his anger rising. He opens his eyes ready to shout at the boatman who senselessly dared to disturb his meditation. But, when he opened his eyes, to his amazement he saw that the boat was empty..!! It was floating in the lake.. all by itself.

At that moment, the monk realizes that the anger is…. and….. has been lying within him. All it needed was an external object to provoke it. After this incident, whenever he meets anyone who irritates him or provokes his anger….he simply remembers that the other person is just an empty boat.”

Stay peaceful within. Keep smiling :)”

Did you know, there are two kinds of people..The ‘Cave’ people and the ‘Sun’ people. Which one are you??

One day the Sun and a cave struck up a conversation. The Sun has trouble understanding what “dark” meant and the Cave didn’t quite get the hang of “light and clear”. So they decided to change places.

The cave went up to the Sun and said, “Ah, I see this is beyond wonderful. Now come down and see where I have been living.”

The Sun went down to the cave and said. ” Gee, I don’t see any difference…!!”

Why do you think it was so ??

When the Sun went down, it took its light along and even the darkest corners were illuminated. That’s why the Sun could not see any difference. There is a saying from an old book that says, “The enlightened ones can never be sent to hell or pushed into darkness. They carry their heaven on their shoulders all the time.”

We thought heaven is a place where we are supposed to go, perhaps it was a state of mind we were supposed to achieve. If you are full of darkness within, full if negativity, fear and doubt, you become a cave unknowingly. Its hell within you and no matter how much you accumulate you will remain hollow.

If you are illuminated like the sun, then the darkness of the cave wouldn’t matter. You could be in the worse of circumstances, you will still be able to find a blessing somewhere….You will be carrying your heaven with you.

Keep smiling 🙂

“I am not feeling on top of the world. What should I do?”

“I am not feeling on top of the world. What should I do?”

Though this is a common question, but more often than not, the people who are asking this are really NOT prepared to listen to the answer/solution. What they want really is… You say the things they WANT to hear, not the things they NEED to hear. So, I waited for a while and then replied….

” What do you do when you lose your keys? Look for them. Right? The question is…Where do you look for them? If you have lost them in your house and you go looking for them in your office, will you ever find them? NEVER..!! It’s really that simple.. If you have lost them at home then look for them at home.!! Important thing to remember is, not to look for them with an agitated mind, because it only adds to the restlessness and makes the search longer. You will still find the keys but it may take a little longer. Another interesting thing you may have noticed is that, when you are looking for your keys, you somehow don’t seem to find them, but when you are looking for something else…say a kerchief or something.. then these keys will suddenly pop up. Has it not happened? 🙂

It’s the same thing with life. You seem to have lost your keys (peace of mind). You have lost it at home (within) and you seem to be looking for them in the office (outside). The outside world is just the same as it always was. Something within you has moved from its center. So, if you look for it in the outside world, will you ever find it?! What you need to do is…take time out for yourself, and look within, i.e, meditate. Remember, if you take up this looking for the keys process (i.e, meditation) with a lot of agitation (i.e, feverishness) then it will only add to the restlessness and make the search longer. You will still get it but it make take it a little longer. Also, it may be a good idea to meditate with spontaneity and naturality (i.e, looking for the kerchief or something and not looking for the keys) and you will realize that the peace of mind is effortlessly restored (the keys suddenly pop up).

Keep smiling :)”

Is surrendering to the divine, an art..??

Middle aged, with some greys beginning to surface, she spoke rather shyly, “Is surrendering an art? I somehow am not able to do it.”

I waited for her to speak a bit more, but she chose not to speak.

I took a deep breath in and used the time to put my thoughts in as simple form as possible :). I said…

“Surrender in a happening, its not something one does. It happens! If I try to “DO” it, it will NEVER happen. Its not a conscious event. Its an effortless act….like breathing. Well, the question now arises…how to do it?? There are a few easy steps to it…. But before I tell you the steps, let me also tell you that it’s only possible for those who have given their 100%. One has to first give their heart and soul, sweat and blood in whatever one wants (be it relationship, finances, work….). Once, you have given your 100%, then follow these simple steps and surrender happens…

1. Always remember that whatever it is that you are dealing with, will pass. Keep reminding yourself, keep telling yourself…This too shall pass…!!
2. After that you will realize that you are slowly and gradually beginning to accept the situation or person as it is. So, remember…. Accept it and say to yourself…It’s ok, its just like this and I accept it.
3. Bring out the valour in you. Remember that there is nothing you cant do. If the situation has arisen then you can certainly solve it, deal with it. Once you learn to accept the situation and person the way they are, you will automatically see the situation differently and be able to bring out the valour in you and do what it takes to correct the situation. That is, you give your 100%.
4. Finally, you will simply and automatically surrender to the divine. It will happen! You don’t have to do it.

Keep smiling :)”

How to make choices….??

Its your choice…!!!

Then she asked me, almost impatiently, “What’s the best way of choosing and sticking to it? I do start a particular thing, like meditation, but then somehow am not able to continue with it. What to do?”

I could see a lot of other people in the gathering who immediately seconded the question, I smiled and spoke….

“My dear,……. when you decide…. you choose from a certain set of options. Right?”

She nodded. I continued…

“So, let’s say, its like this…

So, what we do is… we choose a particular option and then leave the other options like they are. In effect, we leave the other options open…:)

What we need to do is… something else. What we need to do is…when we choose an option, we should simultaneously delete the other options so that they do not even exist. Like this….

In the first case, which is normally the case for most people, the other options are left open and therefore people go back to it. Like in your case, when you choose meditation, you do it for a few days and then go back to choosing the other options in that time because you have not crossed the other options. Somewhere they still do exist. Result of which, you land up selecting them, inadvertently. What you need to do is delete all other options…..when they do not exist……they will automatically not get selected.

It may seem a bit challenging in the beginning, but once it becomes the way of life, this method of choice selection makes life very easy and relaxed.

What you have not been able to do so far… is in the past…let go!

You are new today. You ar new now..!

Start today. Start now….:)”

Don’t struggle to seek happiness in your life.

“Why does it seem that I am struggling to be happy, even when my desires get fulfilled?” She looked like a grandmother and seemed to be asking this question more out of exasperation than anything else.

I smiled and spoke…..

“Fulfillment will give happiness.

But all our lives we have been running after fulfillment of desires. We think we will be happy if our desires get fulfilled. But in reality, if we look carefully,…. as soon as one desire gets fulfilled another desire arises. Isn’t it so?

Also, its important to know that the desires arise because of two reasons. First, a sense of incompleteness and second, a sense of otherness. We normally have a desire for something which is other than ‘I’. We don’t say. I desire myself. Do we? So, desire is always for something other than the self. For someone who imagines that he is incomplete.

These two things are totally absent in one experience of our life. And each one of us goes through that experience. That one experience is ‘Deep Sleep’ experience. In deep sleep there is no sense of incompleteness, there is no sense of otherness. We are all one and complete when we are in deep sleep. In our waking state, we are obviously different. In our dream state also, we are different, because each one of us has different dreams and we all have our own experiences in our dreams. but our deep sleep experience is common. There is only one kind of deep sleep, are not many kinds of deep sleeps. There is only one kind of deep sleep. We all experience the same kind of deep sleep.

So, don’t struggle to seek happiness in life. It is all there. We have all experienced it… in our deep sleep and in our meditations. So, let go…..

Smile :)”